I realize that I can be incredibly foolish, silly, and ignorant sometimes My own sense of self-importance has let me down considerably and to think that I know better than others and God is foolish to think that way because God is in complete control of absolutely everything. People shouldn’t think they are better than others because of their perceived spiritual blessings they have received as a result of their faith in God.
I’ve let myself and the world down considerably due to thinking that I’m more important than others which is wrong because everyone and everything is equal even God himself in the eyes of God (but who am I to say this?)
I foolishly chose self-importance over others, and I was too arrogant and blinded by ignorance and prideful to see what it was I was doing to myself. All those times I hurt and deceived people and lied to their faces when they said, “are you ok”? And not being as honest as I should be to them and saying “yeah I’m fine” when I just wasn’t. But also, not being true to myself and my own beliefs.
But my own self-importance got in the way significantly in terms of making real tangible progress towards God and I have been a complete and utter fool towards myself and let others down which isn’t what I stand for. But I have let others down and more importantly I’ve let myself down and the life of progress towards God which I would like to lead.
I will continue to pray and meditate as best as I can each day to God in the hopes that I can change for the benefit of the human species and more importantly for the benefit of myself. It’s wrong what I’ve done to myself and zealously evil to have done all the things that I’ve done to myself and to think I can get away with it is stupid and foolish and to think that others can’t see my own actions is fooling myself. Praying that I reduce my pride (which I have done now) and reduce my own sense of importance. But I feel the pace of spirituality is far too fast and should slow down.
My own sense of self-importance isn’t who I want to be any more in terms of how I identify with being very important. I should respect myself and others more to recognize that I have been given life and so should put efforts into doing God’s work and not the work of the devil/evil. I’m sorry towards myself for having done the things that I have done to myself.
I guess it’s also about how I was in darkness for so long and now I’m beginning to see the light considerably more I wandered why I was in darkness for so long.
The work of God should be in creating beauty, lifting people’s spirits especially people who are down, expressing Christ like emotions to others and more importantly yourself, striving to be happy, striving to be joyful, giving to others especially because the power of giving is true in the sense that what you give to others you get in return in the sense that you reap what you sow, but you should give with the belief that God will return to you what you give to others, but you shouldn’t to so for yourself – you should do so with the intent of serving God. Practicing self-love more and being more positive.
The reason I gave way to so much self-importance is due to me not recognizing the oneness of all life and realizing that I’m not the only person in the world and it’s also incredibly selfish to not believe in the word of God.
Update 1: 06/03/22
Its also important with regard to self-importance to become a child as Jesus once described it. You can read more about my understanding of exactly what he meant about this Here